Until Death Do Us Part

Until Death Do Us Part

This is a very identifiable phrase. Millions upon millions have recited it. I have myself. Admittedly, I did not live out that vow. Very few do nowadays.  So if we are fortunate enough to find two individuals who are going to make it to that kind of parting I think they should be honored.

The class that I am taking is becoming more and more rewarding in many ways. There are approximately 22 enrolled and on an average we have been having at least 19 in each class. Discussions are good and the writing ranges from soup to nuts. There is one male among all us females. Of course with his personality he thrives on the doting attention.

His lovely wife escorts him in each week. I am not certain how he lost his eyesight, but he has so he needs that gentle hand to guide him. Once his coat is removed and his walker positioned out of the way, his wife of 56 years pats his shoulder, and tells him to enjoy his class. A quick peck on the forehead, a last minute squeeze of her hand by him and off she goes.

He sits nested among chattering females and when he raises his hand to get a word in edgewise, it is often added wit with an obvious sense of humor. All the ladies cannot get to him fast enough during the break to bring coffee and refreshments. He eats up both.

Usually in the last ten minutes of the class his wife will return and I cannot take my eyes off their interaction. I miss some of the last conversations because of the attraction to their outward love for one another. She often catches me watching them, or should I say staring at them. She smiles and I feel like I am family.

You have seen this couple hundreds of times. She is about an inch or two taller than him and has that nice little round-lady build.  Blonde permed or naturally curly hair usually pinned up, glasses and always bright red lips. He is smaller in stature, making you wonder how the difference in their height was never a problem to them throughout the years. Marrying a shorter man is usually not something women choose to do.

Once she settles beside him they simultaneously reach for one another’s hand. It is like clockwork. Their fingers intertwine and unbeknownst to him, (or maybe not) she looks into his face. He of course doesn’t see her appreciative smile. But I am sure he knows she is doing it.

I could not help myself from asking them when there was an opportunity in the class to do so, if I could ask them a personal question. I am sure it was one they get all the time. What did they think was the key to their successful marriage? Again, together as if they knew what the other was thinking, they each gave a little laugh. She candidly told us that they had their ups and downs like most married couples but they worked them out. It never was an option not to. They both added ‘patience’, lots of patience.

Then he added the truth about what was the real cementing factor. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever met. He loved her from the start. She was and still is the most beautiful bride he had ever seen.

You could feel the hush in the room. His words were genuine. Not contrived or flattering or meant to be impressive. They were true. Heartfelt. Honest. It makes you wonder what the other one will do when the, until death do us part, component of their vows comes calling.

Their marriage is so real that it almost seems impossible. It is not a marriage of convenience or torture as some are today. Staying together to just annoy one another or because couples have been together too long and their lives too invested to go through the pain and inconvenience of separating. But in those cases there is no, ‘marriage’. Not like these two lovely souls. There is not a hint of sarcasm. No innuendos when one speaks of the other. No detectable unspoken undercurrent.

There are undercurrents though. You feel that love. Your sensory factors let you know that it is genuine. There is an acceptance, and a trust between them that has come with endurance. Their union says, this person will not hurt me I do not just feel safe with them, I know that I am safe with them. They are so comfortable in each others presence that it makes the room feel comfortable.

I hate for the class to end. I try to follow them out of the building to get one last bit of conversation and to observe the simple interaction of helping into the car. She does this as though it isn’t a chore and as he slides into the seat his face beams with appreciation. You know they have to have done this a thousand times and as you watch it looks at though it is their first date.

I cannot help but remark to her how extraordinary their love looks. She smiles and says, “We know each other pretty well. And you do what has to be done.” There is no frustration or begrudging in her voice. It’s complete dedication to him. And his outward noting of what he knows she does for him is marked with that appreciative smile.

Amazing. How did these two people find each other in this world of millions? When events, chance, losses, unpredictable schedules, jobs taken or not taken, geographical moves, family disputes, accidents, late busses or trains, missed planes or sickness all move us like human pawns. And yet their lives did merge and it has lasted and lasted wonderfully. To each his/her own in this world. We all travel different paths. But I am glad I was able to witness the original pattern of what an enduring marriage should be.

I’ve had my bubble busted a lot of times about other things by finding out what I thought was original was really acrylic nails and hair extensions, spray tans and implants. All the while I am envying their good fortune to having such natural attributes. You wonder why they just can’t be honest. I have to be. “Yes, this naturally curly hair is all mine, and yes sir, I packed all these pounds on all by myself. No implants here.”

You all have great day. Be safe and pray for those whose lives have just been turned upside down in an instant through bad weather.