Saturday, April 1, 2017

I should have been addicted…

I never used drugs or drank. I often think about what kept me from going down that path that so many take to stop their pain. I certainly had all the emotional qualifications to become an addict. I don’t believe that anyone wakes up one day and says, “You know what I think I’ll do with my life? I think I’ll get addicted to drugs, lose all my friends and family, break hearts—including my own—lose my health, break laws, get arrested and possibly one day be found in an ally dying from an overdose.”

Where does it start? Usually, something triggers the need to soothe a hurt. An emotional pain or even physical pain needs to STOP. The problem with dealing with any pain or hurt in that way brings on a deadly probem that soon wraps its tentacles around a person’s life and they end up with a hurt that owns them—helpless to the point of death.

Like me, you might say but I never went that far but I still reached for something to stop the pain.

Sometimes a person is bored and just looking for a ‘fun time’ the night or day, it begins. It’s like going to a carnival that promises a rush beyond normal life, excitement full of lights and cotton candy. Nothing destructive or painful sends them off on this path. They would say that it wasn’t some deep emotional scar they wanted to get free of that brought them down to the place they find themselves. Whether triggered by a curious or sad longing that sends us seeking the quick fix both can take us to a place we wish we'd never gone.

If we live long enough we all have something come into our lives that could open us up to one or the other reason to look for something outside of ourselves for momentary comfort. So many different things drive us.

Is there any other choice? Is there anything that can stop the hurt, help me with things I can’t do and even offer me more contentment than I’m experiencing?


But you probably don’t want to hear what it is. Neither did I. I’m glad, though, that the Lord kept me long enough to listen to what He had to say in the beginning of my walk with Him. If you will allow me a little of your time I have something I think you might find interesting and hopefully, useful.

I knew nothing. All I knew was that there was a GOD. I knew nothing of Jesus or the Holy Spirit. In a way, I was fortunate because I had no religious doctrine that the Lord had to undo. I started with a blank page.

Oh, my, there were so many things I didn’t know back then. I had so much to learn. I started reading a Living Bible that one of my customers gave me as a gift. She had no reason to do this. She just brought it to me one day and said that she thought I would like it seeing that I had just become a Christian. That moment was one of the most valuable pieces of knowing God I’d ever have handed to me. Not just that Bible itself, but how He would begin giving me exactly what’s needed through so many sources that I would never dream possible. She was the first of many the Lord would use in my life.

You want to know what hit me in an even greater way that day? God was talking to someone about ME! He spoke MY name to this woman and impressed on her to buy me that Bible.


I devoured that book! I still have it and it’s tattered and torn. I read it as if my life depended on it and—it did. I read the Word like a starving person. Soon I’d read so much that I was stuffed!

I’d read how the Lord taught in parables and I guess even back then with my creative writing mind I could see, taste and feel in those parables what the people were going through.

Then something happened.

The first time I realized that I had come into the world with something that was all mine and no one had told me about for the first 22 years of being alive was when the Lord told me about my—God Given Square.

This is how I started to learn, by the Lord giving me my very own personal parable. Let me share some of my early walk with you.

My God-Given Square, parable

A man knocks on my door one day and he says that he has the deed to a piece of property that belongs to me. I’ve never known about this property or who would have given it to me. But he’s persistent so I agree to go look at it. We pull up to this property and get out to take a look. While he fumbles in his briefcase for the deed, I’m left staring at this large piece of property—puzzled.

It's covered with piles of black garbage bags, rusting discarded items, littered trash, piles of fallen limbs, and some things I can’t recognize for the flies buzzing around them.

Finding the deed, he smiles, hands it to me, wishes me good luck and disappears. I’m now left alone standing by this property, my mouth hanging open and at a total loss. Who gave me this property and who did all this? Furthermore, what in the world am I going to do with it now?

I spent a few days seeing this plot of land in my mind and wondering why.

Quietly, one day the Lord stood beside me surveying this property with his hands clasped behind his back—smiling.
I thought, “What is he smiling about?”

I certainly didn’t see anything to smile about—so of course, I had to ask.

“Lord, what is all this? I thought I’d been given something good. This is a mess.”

“It's beautiful.”

My second piece of learning was that the Lord always backed up what He said to me with the Word. Unbeknownst to me, while I was devouring the Bible that I’d been given, all that Word was being laid up for me so the Holy Spirit could bring it back to my remembrance as needed. Some I didn’t even remember reading but it had been deposited IN me while I read.

Isaiah 61:3
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.

I was dumbstruck. Hearing the Word with so much promise while staring at a mess that somehow represented my life was incomprehensible. There was no way those Words were being spoken about THIS property.

Little did I know right then that it would become true.
Within all those bags were Beauty, Joy, Praise, and
Righteousness prepared for me so that MY life might give God Glory!

To be continued.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Don’t bother me, I'm bouncing my batteries

The internet is an amazing place. The internet can teach you all sorts of things—good or bad. It isn’t the first thing in life that has been created for the well-being of mankind and sooner or later someone figures out a way to use it for a malicious purpose and spoil it for us. So long as we humans have tendencies wired into us to do wrong—guess what—we will do wrong. But thankfully there are people who benefit personally from knowledge gained and pass it on to the rest of us—via the internet.

But let’s get back to battery bouncing. How many times have I hunted for a new battery and if for some reason it wasn’t still in the package it came in, I really had no idea if it was good. This leads me to ask myself the same simple question every time upon finding a lone battery, ”Why would I have kept a dead battery?”

Then my mind thinks, “But maybe it's good and it just rolled out of the package.” That’s always a good one. 

So I go with the former belief that this battery is—good. I pop it into whatever device needs its power and it works either momentarily or nothing. No light comes on indicating that power has been restored. 

It’s a dead battery. It’s hard to imagine that you could reach a ripe old age and continue to do the same nonsensical things. But something in me holds to the idea that somewhere in that battery there just might be a resurrected power. That on a stormy night it will power the flashlight that will keep the darkness from invading my soul. (That last line might be a bit too flowery but I write so—what do you expect.)

Now, I know what some might think—why not just invest in a battery tester? Come on let's be real. Even though we live in a battery driven world just exactly how many times in my life have I thought, “Hmm, I think I’ll buy a battery tester.” 

Hardly ever—never. That is, until what few battery-driven devices I do use—die on me. 

Then some creative, investigative, scientific-minded geek (or not) reaches through the chaos and puts out this simple video.

Mr. Video Man:  Bounce your batteries, he says. 

Me: Sure—right. 

Mr. Video Man: No, really, bounce them.

Me: (already feeling stupid for keeping dead batteries.) Okay, I’ll bite.

Mr. Video Man: Hold the battery upright and drop it on a hard level surface. If it’s good it will land standing up on the first drop. If it is dead or near dead it will bounce several times before falling over.

Me: Gawfffff—okay, let me get this right, you want me to drop my battery and it will land upright if it’s a good one or fall over if it’s one of the ones I kept just for emergencies?”

Mr. Video Man: I’m not sure why this method works but it does every time.

Me: I know why you had to come up with this test. Because of people like me who saved used batteries. 

So the next time I search around in the dark, drop that one battery I salvage out of my “I might need it one day” bin, drop it to see if it stands up or bounces and rolls under the stove I’ll know if Mr. Video Man was telling me the truth.

Too bad we can’t have a simple fix for us, humans. Drop us and if we stand we’re good. Drop us and if we bounce around and fall over we’re not. 

I’m done; I have to go bounce my batteries. 

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

The Right Foot

 I’m not sure which of my feet the right foot is. I do know my left from my right in position of feet but as a RIGHT or wrong foot that’s my quandary. Getting off on the right foot is essential to everything we do. It’s the bases for how things proceed from here. So far I’m doing all right seeing that I have only been at 2017 for three days, some hours, a few minutes, and these current seconds.

But in that time I’ve managed to restart this blog for whatever reason hit me this morning. Join another blogger’s site (not to successfully so far) and write something on my own blog to show good faith in blogging again.

I know one thing I do—I always start off hopeful which is amazing in itself. Hope is a wonder to me. That I have it is a miracle. We are born with hope installed in our DNA. But when we begin to walk in this life hope can often be either enhanced or destroyed.

Depending on our beginning years and the people who start influencing us it often sets the tone for how positive or hopeful of a person we are. Depending on humans can be a risky business. When these humans start coloring on our personal page of life things can get muddy.

If that happens there is a solution—the Lord. I know because he scrubbed the not so positive or good coloring of others on my life-page and gave those areas back to me. Hope bloomed again. 

Sometimes we think that there will never be life in a part of our lives that has failed to grow. I’ve never had a green thumb but I have had my share of many brown twiggy looking things in a pot that I know had something green IN it at one time.

My life had some of those brown twiggy things and one of them was hope. So I’m going to begin here on this blog again and hope will thrive.