I am such a Crybaby

I am such a crybaby

I know that I'm supposed to not be such a crybaby at my age, but I can’t help it on days like this. Finding myself once again staring into the screen of my computer at my new book as I hit - Save and Publish!  It brings the tears. I guess you just have to be one of us crazy wannabe writers to truly understand the rush of excitement when a book with our name on it hits the shelves. Even though my scope of readers isn’t among the millions, with the help of Amazon and the self-publishing industry my little world of titles is worldwide!
I want to give a short background to my latest ‘child’.  On the morning of June 16, 2012, yes, just a little over a month ago, I woke from a dream and as I made coffee that morning I wrote down several sentences as fast as I could remember them. – My memory requires notes now.
The first part of this story came to me in that dream. But that was all I had. Maybe it’s just me and that’s alright if it is, but as I begin to write, the story starts telling itself to me. I’m its first reader. I’ll write a few chapters and when I go back to read over it to see what I wrote it’s like reading someone else’s book. I have even come to keeping notes chapter by chapter so I can refer back to names, places and what’s happening because I don’t remember what I’ve written. And sometimes I have no idea where I'm going with the story.
As I did the formatting these past three days to get this book ready for Kindle I fully expected to see another name as the author in place of mine. But alas, it is mine, all mine! I even remembered how to design my own cover, seeing that it’s been awhile since I had to create one.

I keep asking myself the same question about this love of writing that will just not go away. Why do I love it so much? It certainly isn’t because I am a well-known author or have found some secret to breaking into the publishing world. Lord knows there are thousand of others like myself who write their books and hope and pray one day someone with the wherewithal reads them and they become a noted author.

Maybe it’s just for my own sense of accomplishment. Then with the Olympics being in progress I came to this concussion. I’m an Olympic writer. Physically, I sit in total amazement at the strength, determination, and sacrifice that these people make everyday of their lives to get to this coveted place – being the best in the world. Receiving that Gold Metal of recognition!

Although, I’m in no way comparing writing to the daily regiment that it takes to become an accomplished athlete, but what I think I can understand is the ‘heart’ part of believing in a dream and not giving up.  Part of what I think drives them forward is looking behind them. Believing that all the years, hours, days, and minutes of doing what they love to do will become all worth it in the end. Even those who don’t place for a metal say the same thing, “I didn’t give up. I made it this far and I am proud of my accomplishments.”

Maybe not all of us who have a dream that we follow have to have a ‘metal’ to prove that we have heart. Mine is beating faster once again today as I look at my new accomplishment. This one was birthed quicker then ever before.  I think it’s a good story. It reads easily and made me believe that good things can end up happening from not so good beginnings.

These new characters took me on a journey of just that, a not so good beginning but an ending that made me wish I could be there with them. As much as I love getting to the end of a book, I hate it even more. I want to stay in that world. I’ll miss Sandra Bloom and her friend and for sure Tom Perts who stumbled upon them one day . . .  Hmm, might just be a sequel here!

So to my few faithful friends and wonderful family, I say thank you for letting me share my thoughts and tell you that A Clap of Thunder will be at your local friendly bookstore, Amazon, within 48 hours should you want to read it.

 In the mean time, I’ll open another of my many files and write on!