Do you ever feel like you are never enough? What do you think God meant by . . . small things?

Luke 16;10 He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much, and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much. 

I woke today struggling with some of the small, seemingly insignificant things I do that only God sees me doing. Some of them might be termed OCD, but I don’t put that tag on them. I don’t go around having to touch things three times before I can relax. Some might seem very silly or questionable but let me explain. I’ve included for Biblical clarity what the Word says about being faithful in a job well done—even the smallest ones.

I hate to admit it but not taking the time to finish something has cost me more than if I had done it right the first time. Does anyone know what I’m talking about?

So, God trains me in this fault of mine in small simple ways. I hear the Holy Spirit encouraging me before I am about to neglect to do these small things and am encouraged.

Here is one of my biggest small issues. Living in a community housing where other people use the laundry room also, they ask that you do two things. Clean out the dryer filter and leave the door open on both the washer and dryer so it will air out. Not rocket science—small simple actions.

And yet, when I’ve folded my clothes and stacked them, I realize that the job isn’t done. That’s when something in me groans. Several times, as I’ve turned to leave, I hear the voice of the Holy Spirit chastening me. You’d think I was being asked to fly over the building. I start an argument that I know I’m not going to win. Yes, I can win it, but for the rest of the night, I will know that I was disobedient in such a small matter. So, as I turn around, and take the time to do this small insignificant act before I exit the laundry room I wonder where in the whole scheme of life this even matters. It doesn’t. It only matters in my life.

It's not about the task, although it does serve a purpose for the next person using the facilities. The purpose is for my growth in the Lord. I’ll explain a little further. I was raised by a father who was never happy with anything I did. I called it, “never enough nuts or raisins.” No matter what my sister, mother, or I cooked, we either never put enough raisins or nuts in it or we put too many. We knew from the second we presented him with a plate that the praise for a job well done wasn’t coming—but we kept trying.

Sure enough, there was always something we neglected to do right. This is where my current straining to complete the job’s smallest step pulls at my emotions. “There’s always ONE MORE thing! I never can get it completely right!”

So, you might be asking, if I know this, then why don’t I make room for that final step or maybe even do it the minute I open the dryer door? Wouldn’t that be the wise thing to do? Why wait until I’m forced into the feeling of disobedience? What is still in me?

I won’t bore you with all the stuff that happens, just one more. When I’m cooking or fixing a sandwich and have gotten everything out on the counter it happens. I fix whatever it is, and I hear that inner voice saying, “Put everything away before you go sit down.” My inner child wants to scream! “Always, one more thing! Always, something I still have to do before I’m done!”

I know I might sound like a crazy person but now I’ll tell you why God deals with me in this way. Friend, it has nothing to do with a lint filter or a jar or two sitting on the counter or a knife needing to be rinsed off in the sink—it’s about God wanting to heal that damaged child that still exists in a seventy-six-year-old woman. It's God’s love yet again softly trying to show me that I can complete the small touches and walk away with hearing Him say, “Good job Susan!” That’s what I never heard in my whole life from a father I desperately tried to please—over and over again.

But God isn’t like that. In fact, He starts his praise and acknowledgment of being proud of me before I even finish. I’m not a psychologist by any means, but I’d venture to say that millions of people are still acting out of some childhood damage to this very day.

I’m shaking my head as I write this because my heart aches over the thought of how much lasting damage is done by people who were supposed to love and protect our innocent inner child. They were supposed to teach us how to learn valuable life lessons positively. Sadly, this one was so ingrained in me that it goes with me into a laundry room or my kitchen.

I hate it. I hate there is even a trace of it left in me. Believe me when I share this when I say that it isn’t as bad as it used to be! I used to have to stop and cry in frustration over this small problem. Now my turnaround time is so short. I hear it, I take the time to complete this one small final act and then I am free to go about my day. No condemnation followed me nipping at my heels for the rest of the day. No voice accusing me of not having enough nuts or raisins. Just God’s loving praise of a job well done and that He is proud of me.

And finally, we don’t have to do this on our own, we have help. The Holy Spirit in us is ready to help us to both WILL and heal even the smallest issue by helping us DO what we cannot do ourselves.

Please finish by reading over these scriptures knowing that if you have believed in the death and resurrection of Jesus and are saved, that you have help.

Ephesians 1:13 In Him, you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise.

Philippians 2:13 for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.

John 14; 26 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all the things that I said to you.

I bless you.

 

Have you ever wrapped your life around just one Person?

Recently, during an introspective prayer, I realized that maybe the decisions I was making only included one person when God wanted them to include more than just this person.

It’s a hard thing to let a relationship go. No matter what that relationship is; marital, friend, or even family. Trusting that God has a plan is nearly impossible to do. We struggle with whether or not it is God asking us to let go. Are we making a mistake? Are we letting our feelings get in the way? I’ve heard and read that God has a plan for every one of us—saved and not saved.

Every human being God has designed for something. Before the creation of the world, he knew every one of us. That’s a bold statement for some of you to believe. But if you are a believer and read the Word and have a real relationship with the Holy Spirit then that statement isn’t strange to you. The hard part is finding that plan. I have struggled to understand just what it is that God planned for my life. I’m running out of life. At seventy-six years old my time is getting shorter and shorter.

I can look back over my life and it looks like the path of a drunken sailor. Back and forth, stumbling, faulting, stopping, and at times plummeting forward. There isn’t a straight line anywhere in my past. So, I have to ask myself, this major question—have I been walking in the plan and didn’t recognize it?

It's not all been haphazard. The one true thing that I know is that for fifty-three years God has been in my life. I have heard His voice and followed His direction up to this very last move. But, and it’s a BIG but, was this part of His plan? I was optimistic when I moved to Florida. My eyes were on one person and now I see that God has other plans. I wrapped my plans around one person and God wanted my life to include more than one person.

I’m seeing that now although it’s been hard to adjust. It’s always hard to let go of a dream or expectations that don’t happen. You have to sit in the pile of ashes for a while and cry. But coming to grips with reality is the only way out of disappointment. When I woke up this morning at four o'clock and came to write this posting, I heard the Lord clearly say to me that He was giving me the oil of Joy for the spirit of heaviness.

I’ve had to let God lift my head and open my eyes to possibilities of what and who is around me other than that one person. I’m running out of time. I can’t afford to waste any more of my life waiting on this person to make me a priority. Although, they have been my priority for years.

I did something this morning that needed to be done. And maybe my sharing with any reader will enable you to take the same move. I surrendered that place in my heart that this one person has had for years, I found myself realizing that God has been slowly and lovingly cutting that tie so that He can have that place in my life that only He deserves to have. It’s not easy to let go. But it’s probably going to be the second-best thing I have done since believing in God and becoming a Christian.

Giving God that number one place in my heart is another step in salvation’s story. It’s what He is after in every one of our lives, putting Him first. Loving Him more than any other person. No matter what their relationship is with us. It’s hard to read that we are to forsake our mother, father, sister, brother, friend, and any other relationship we form in this life.

When I closed my eyes and bent my head this morning in surrendering all my expectations I had when I moved here, I meant it. I asked God to help me now look around me and see that perhaps it was for more than just one person. Maybe my outlook on the world was too small. Maybe there are other people that God wants to bring into my life that need what He has put into me. Maybe I was willing to just swim in one small pond when God wants to cast me into an ocean of people who will benefit from what I have gone through in my life. Maybe He wants to do the same thing with you.

I don’t see everything yet, but I know that my decision was right this morning. At other times there was hurt and pain and a whole lot of tears, this morning there was peace about letting go. In letting go, it opens us up to new people, new possibilities, and new experiences.

But the main thing is I’m putting God in His rightful place. I don’t ever want anyone to have that place ever again. I’m not saying that I won’t form new relationships and enjoy new people, but I don’t want any person to hold that place in my heart but God.

My footprint here in this blog is small and I only know that it’s being read by the number counting views of my page. So, if it reaches even one person in that respect then I’m fulfilling God’s plan and that’s the whole point of what I do.

I bless you.

 

 Another New Year where what we long for will come to pass.

Sometimes when I begin to read something that catches my attention, I find myself mentally responding with, “Yeah, I sure do understand that!” It seems to be happening more often.

As another year is about to end, I think we all look back on how we thought last year was going to go. I find myself looking back on what did and didn’t happen as I thought it would. Not everything I hoped for happened. Some things went better than expected, some have yet to materialize, and there were things I didn’t even see coming at all.

I made a profound remark to the Lord as I was preparing to move to Florida. It wasn’t that I have not walked with the Lord for 52 years and found him to be faithful but there are still things missing in my relationship with Him. The word—real—kept coming to my mind and heart. I want more. I have read the Word for years and I see in it promises that God has made to us who believe, promises I haven’t seen materialize but I know are possible.

The one thing I DO know is that it isn’t God! It’s me. A scripture that has guided my life is, “You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32. I have reached places in my life where things had to change, and I didn’t care what the Lord had to do to make them happen. But what do you do when it isn’t your life for which you are praying? I’ve always said that I know how far I will let things go before I drag my sorry self back to the feet of Jesus and repent. But what when it’s people that you dearly love? I can’t make them want to change. I can’t do it for them—I wish I could. Oh, how incredible that would be if we could overrule a person’s will for good and they would change. But that isn’t possible.

God gave each one of us free will. Not even God himself will overrule a person’s will. He does, however, intervene in the circumstances of that person’s life and use His power to help guide them toward the direction their life needs to go. The problem with that is that it’s often scary for us who love that person to have to watch. But God never intends anything but good for us or them. 

I’ve cried out more than once for the Lord to not lift His hand off of me no matter how much it hurts! But as I said, that’s me. But to have to watch someone you dearly love struggling is a whole different matter. Especially, when it seems that there is nothing you can do to help them.

I have read about the Prodigal Son in scripture so many times. In my mind, I stand outside that pig pen watching that young man struggle. I envision him having lost everything he once had in riotous living after turning his back on what he had been taught and given by his father. I see the father every day searching, longing to see his son come walking back down the road to return home!

So, as I watch this picture unfold in my mind, I search for every clue to what happened in that young man’s mind and heart on the day that he finally decided to go home. If you’re not familiar with the story you can read it here; Luke 15:11-32.

What happened that caused him to find himself IN that pig pen searching about in the slop for a half-eaten corn cob? A place that he was never meant to ever be in let alone touch these unclean animals. Yet, there he was. He had dipped so low that he lost sight of everything he had ever been taught.

Was it the moment he bit down on the mucky corn cob and felt the grit in his mouth? Was it the smell of the swine wallowing near him? When did he realize he had become no better than a pig or how lost he had become? Something clicked inside of him. Something made him remember that even the servants in his father’s house were better off than this!

He'd had enough! As he headed home it was with the thought that he didn’t expect his father to take him back as a son, he was only hoping to be reinstated as a servant. I can see the father getting up that morning as he had so many mornings before, stepping outside and the longing filling his heart to see his son come home. Was it as he turned to go back into the house that he caught a glimpse of a figure approaching the driveway? It moves my heart to beat faster at the thought that must have raced through that old man’s mind.

“My son! My son is home!” He didn’t even wait for the young man to get to him. He took off running in his son’s direction and when he got to him, he threw his arms around him and kissed him! It didn’t matter to the father what filthy state his son was in! He was home! That was all that mattered! And that is all that matters to God when anyone comes to Him!

I’ve stood watching this scene in my mind so many times imagining how that must have felt. When I, like that father have searched in prayer for someone I love to come back to the Lord or to even come to know the Lord for the first time. I wonder if later that night after the boy had cleaned up, dressed again in his clothing, and eaten that celebratory meal once they were alone, if the father asked him what it was that finally made him come home? I don’t think the father cared what it was; he just had his son back.

I know that I’m not the only one who has been offering up prayers for other people that you hope will one day come to their right mind and be saved out of the muck and mire their lives have been drug into.

As I sat down to write this posting I was once again reminded of the Word in Romans 8:34 Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who continually makes intercession for us. I don’t think many people realize that Jesus is praying for them, so how can I give up? I’ll search that road every day looking for the answers. And I believe that when I wrap my arms around the answered prayer it won’t matter what finally happened, all that will matter is that the answer has come!

To any reader who understands and needs this posting, know this; You are not alone. I believe that there are so many other Christians who have soaked our pillows at night with tears beseeching the Lord on behalf of people that they love to change. Knowing that if we could do it for them, we would—but we can’t.

When I find myself saying, “All I can do is pray.”  I feel so ashamed. I realize that that is the absolute BEST thing I can do! It’s what holds the greatest possibility!

So again, this year I will continue my vigil of prayer, longing, and searching for the answers to my prayers for others.

May God bless you; Dear reader, and I bless you.

Trust me… I understand.

It’s always been hard to understand why what should be the most loved-filled, wonderful occasion of the year is one of the hardest times for many people—Christmas.

I’ve had both. One very painful Christmas for me was when one of my dearest friends canceled my invitation for Christmas dinner with her family after I had helped her cook all the previous day. Her husband, who was a real stinker came in and said he didn’t want any people but the family for the day. Instantly, I wasn’t family.

I hadn’t made any preparations for feeding my son and myself, so the day was extremely hard to explain to my six-year-old. I remember sitting in the dark later that night with my heart almost refusing to beat. I never saw it coming. What was so hard to understand was that this man was usually never around for his own family. He’d come and go without a moment’s notice, yet he had the power to change Christmas for not just me but others as well. It took me years to get over that hurt. Every year after it was like reliving the hurt all over again.

Another time, as a child, my father usually ruined Christmas all the time. There wasn’t a whole lot of Christmas Cheer anyway, but my dear mother always managed to make Christmas as good as she could for my sister and me. Usually, my father would come home in a bad mood and dampen the whole evening. Nothing was ever good enough with him. No matter what my mother or us girls did it never received any praise and thanks. There was always something we didn’t do right.

This particular Christmas Eve, Mom hadn’t fixed what he thought she should have to eat so he left and went to a bar. It always amazed me what Mom could get out of a $50-a-week grocery budget for four people. But, of course, it was her fault, not his.

He'd also ruin the gift-giving. We got one major gift, a stocking that Mom filled with little things for us, and maybe one other gift. One year, we got an umbrella. My sister and I were both shocked Christmas morning when that wasn’t the gift we had anticipated.

Other years, like this year, I’m separated from my son. All the years he was in the military was sort of expected but this year it’s because of my latest move to Florida. So, yes, I understand.

But if I dwell on the outward circumstances my heart will break with loneliness. So, I purposely look inward to my Comforter. There is no way that the human heart can go through times that hurt so badly without God. Yet so many people try to do it year after year.

All the Christmas ads on TV don’t help either. Seeing families gathering around tables, laughing, and being together can send the average person over the edge.

So that is why I hope with all my heart that my small posting can reassure anyone who happens to stumble across this blog to ask the Greatest Person to come be with them—Jesus.

He NEVER forsakes or leaves us. He never will cancel an invitation to Dine with Him. He gives the best Gifts of Eternal Life, and the Holy Spirit dwelling within us.

It takes Faith to Pray, Wait upon, and Trust in someone that you can’t see physically. I understand that too. But there’s an inner knowing that the Holy Spirit lives within each one of us who has accepted the Gift of Salvation.

I wish I could look anyone who reads this in the eyes and assure them that there is nothing or no one in this world who can ever make such a promise to love and abide with us throughout our lives as God does.

I have to go to Him and ask Him to quiet my heart and mind again this Christmas. I know He will—He’s done it so many times before.

All I can add is that I bless you and hope that you will find yourself running to God this Christmas and fall into His arms.

I do sincerely bless you.

Merry Christmas!

Are you looking for a Sure Place because you have lost all hope?

 It’s 11 p.m. and I’ve been drawn to my living room to sit and cry. I’m an emotional person who wears her heart on her sleeve and doesn’t hold back her feelings. It’s been good sometimes, and other times, it has caused me a lot of pain. I understand how hurt can cause us humans to do things we would ordinarily not do. Some of these things are not good.

Every day in the news there are stories of people who for one reason or another have lost all hope. They’ve reached that place where they don’t think anyone cares if they live or die. And the saddest part is when someone does take their life, people who should have seen the signs might have seen them but looked the other way. This is not always the case but more saw than those who are totally shocked.

The world is a busy place. People are coming and going at such a rapid pace that they miss the signs of those who are in a desperate place. I’ve been desperate and there was only one Person who pulled me back from the brink of despair.

Every year at this time I start asking the Lord for a Birthday Word. A Word that He speaks clearly to my spirit so that I will know that it is Him. Tonight, I heard the 22^nd chapter of Isaiah.

I brought it up on YouTube and listened to it. How in the world could this be my Birthday Word? I listened to it again and only one line jumped out at me. And I will fasten him as a nail in a sure place.

So many people are trying to find that sure place. Somewhere they can rest all their life upon. A place that will never disappoint them or turn away from them no matter what they do. I’ll be the bearer of sad news first—no person or thing can fulfill that spot. Other people are just as faulty as you and I are. Looking to even the strongest person to support you will end up letting you down.

BUT—there is Someone who is that sure nail-driven into a board who will never leave or forsake you. You might not want to hear it, but that Sure Place was established on a Cross thousands of years ago.

When Jesus laid down on that cross and offered himself to have nails pounded in his hands and feet it was for you. When that cross was lifted and dropped into that hole, that sound is still vibrating today—for you.

I know it’s hard to believe. But it’s the truth. That nail driven in His hands was the only sure place that we could hang our lives on.

I’ve authored several books and there is one chapter in God said, “Tell them IAM.” That comes back to me so many times. I’m going to add it here in this post.

 

CHAPTER

ONE

The intimate presence of the Father.

 

          Angels worshipping on their faces before the Holy God. Heaven is conducting business as usual. An arena of practice that our hearts and minds cannot even fathom. A place where multitudes of Angels are privileged to an act of worship, they cannot fully comprehend nor will ever need to understand. Why? Because they are not sons. They have always been in the Father’s presence; there, day, and night. It is not for these beings that The Plan, yet hidden from humanity, will be fulfilled.

          So why then do they dedicate themselves to worship? Why do they from beneath their folded wings utter inconceivable waves of adoration? Why do they bend down, or fall prostrate in undaunted praise? Because they manifest something that those for whom The Plan will unfold do not have right now, they have been granted the entitlement to be in the presence of the Father.

          Holy court is set and there they worship. It is natural. They have never known anything but. They have been there worshipping and praising throughout ages without end. Elders fall with drunken senses. The Plan is yet to be revealed by the forthcoming of the Only Begotten Son of God.

          Angels adore from realms of Glory; The Glory of the Father that is so formidable as it rolls out in realm upon realm. His very Existence invokes the heavens to reverberate in thunderous praise. Seated at the right hand of the Father, whom the Angelic beings acknowledge, is the Son. Hovering in swelling clouds of immeasurable Majestic sovereignty of the Glory of the Father is the Holy Spirit. Waves of unceasing praise, adoration, and honor crash in deluges of orchestrated melodies.

          Jesus, adoringly, through admiring appreciative eyes beholding the Father, comprehends a certainty; one that he and he alone acknowledges. Neither a single Elder nor any created being presently throughout the realms of Glory will ever behold what he is beholding…The Father. Of all gathered in this sphere, he is the only one looking upon the Father. The eternal Beginning. The End. He alone is the only one beholding His face. Jesus solely has the full revelation of the Father. No being can look upon Him and live. He is Holy.

          How can Jesus allow this? How can he, who holds the wherewithal, the providence, to one day unlock this atmosphere of continually beholding the Father God, allow an unsuspecting world not to be granted so great an opportunity? All power is His. In one infinitesimal second, yet spans the ages of time, heaven’s course is set into motion to change that immutable fact forever.

The Trinity agrees. It is settled.

Jesus arises, steps from off the shared throne, removes his Kingly robe, strips off his mantel of honor, and his Godly privileges, and lays everything aside on the altar before The Father. He will not regain what he has set aside until The Plan is fulfilled.

           Jesus now stands willingly stripped of his Kingly raiment. Adorned only in that of a servant’s attire, engages in one parting sanctioned act. He looks. He lingers a second, desiring an eternity to continue drinking in the Author of the Plan—The Father. But He knows that he will return and bring with him all those who will have washed their robes in the Blood of the Lamb.

          When I wrote this my spirit was so moved. I could feel the absolute decision Jesus made and why He did it. I had to believe what I wrote. I had to believe that Jesus left Heaven for me. To rescue me from myself. From all the things that life would do to me.

          I saw it in my Birthday Word again tonight and this chapter all over again. Only this time I saw Him being that Nail driven in a SURE PLACE. I saw his outstretched arms as a welcoming sign for you, me, or anyone to come to that place of love and total surrender of everything we are and find—A SURE PLACE.

           You have to come there first and ask for forgiveness and believe the truth that Jesus is your salvation. But that won't be the only time you come. I’ve come many times. I’ve come stumbling and weeping to once again confess that life is more than I can handle on my own.

But I’ve never been on my own, Jesus promised me 52 years ago that He would never leave or forsake me. And He has never broken that promise.

If you have reached a point where life is no longer worth living, I pray you stumbled upon this posting. I’m offering you the Truth and that Sure Place you have been searching for.

It’s believing in God’s only Begotten Son—Jesus.

I bless you.