Do you know that God is waiting on you?
This morning, as it draws near to Christmas, there are so many devotionals and even worldly postings about the birth of Jesus. Most speak about the way the Maji were led by a star shining more brightly in the sky. A star that had been predicted. I thought about how God has everything lined up to happen exactly when it's supposed to happen. God leads us even when we don’t know that he’s doing it.
I wasn’t looking for God when He drew me to Himself. I knew
there was a God, but had no idea about Him or Jesus or the Holy Spirit. They were
never mentioned in my life. Then, when I first moved to Live Oak and went to
work at a local beauty shop, God’s plan for my life began to unfold.
Her name was Gerri, and she worked out at the boys’ ranch as
a secretary. One Friday afternoon, I answered the phone, and it was Gerri
wanting a late-night hair appointment. She said that it would take about thirty
minutes after five o’clock before she could get here. That meant that I would
have to stay late on Friday night. Being new in the area, my clientele hadn’t grown
yet, so having to sit and wait on a client that late was asking more of me than
I thought I could do.
But something prompted me to agree to her request and
promise that she would become a regular customer. So not only was I about to
stay late this Friday, but all the Fridays after. When Gerri arrived, it felt
as though we were meant to meet. Doing her hair didn’t seem like the reason we
met. Soon afterward, we became close friends. We blended our kids (she had
three, and I had one) and became one family. Most nights, we ate supper
together and talked for hours afterward. I began to watch Gerri closely. No
matter what happened in her life, she always had this way about her. I, on the
other hand, a way too, but it was being depressed, frustrated, and overwhelmed
when something happened to me.
Finally, I asked how she stayed happy. I think I almost
blamed her with my tone of voice as if she was doing something wrong. She
smiled at me and said, “Sue, it’s my hotline to Heaven.”
I groaned and offered a few words I won’t repeat here, but I
did say, “Oh, please Gerri, not religion!”
She said, “No, you’re right, it’s not religion, it's Jesus.
I have a relationship with Jesus. He’s always with me, and He helps me with
everything.”
That night, I grumbled all the way home. That wasn’t the answer I wanted from my friend. I wanted some sort of action I could take when hard times hit—and there were a lot of hard times for me. As the days went on, I questioned Gerri more, seeking a different answer, but she always gave me the same one. Gerri wasn’t perfect. She got mad at her kids, smoked, and complained about life sometimes. But that smile always came back on her face. But it wasn’t just Gerri who was constantly reminding me about Jesus; it was the Holy Spirit, although at the time I didn’t know it.
I came under such conviction that one night I couldn’t
sleep. I sat up in bed and nearly shouted out loud, “What is this? What is
happening to me?”
I felt for the first time in my life that God was not just a thought, but He had a voice and He was speaking to me. At first, it scared me. It was so real. My mind was saying things that my mouth wasn’t. Then my heart got involved, and all the words Gerri had spoken to me over the past weeks came rushing in. I didn’t understand what was happening, but I felt such a relief that I cried and surrendered to God. I said, “God, if you are really real and want my life, I give it to you. I need you. I can’t keep living like this.”
Something happened to me sitting there in my bed, something
that needed more explaining. So the next night, when I went to Gerri’s house,
when we were alone in the kitchen, I asked her what it felt like to be saved.
She smiled and told me. Then I said, “Gerri, I think I got saved last night.”
Again, she smiled widely, and tears came to her eyes. “Sue,
I knew the minute you walked in tonight that something was different about you!”
I now had the same Jesus living in me that Gerri had living
in her. But God wasn’t done yet. I asked her what I needed to do now. She
explained being baptized and making a public confession. She also said that she
knew my walk with the Lord was going to be different than hers. She knew that I
was going to go to church every time the doors opened, and she was right.
A customer of mine had given me a copy of The Living Bible that
previous Christmas, and I’d glanced through it, but that was a far as I went.
But now I began to devour the pages. I couldn’t get enough. I grumbled about having
to find a church and be baptized, asking Gerri why I had to do that.
Wasn’t just accepting the Lord enough? But as the days went on, I was so
convicted that these steps had to be completed in my life. So on a summer
morning, I finally decided to go to Westward Baptist Church. I stood as the
invitation song began, clutching the back of the pew in front of me. Finally, I
couldn’t stand it any longer. I brushed past the people sitting to my right and
nearly charged down the aisle. I remember all too well the startled look on the
preacher’s face. I don’t know if he had ever had anyone like me in such a state
of mind that morning.
I quickly told him that I had accepted the Lord and wanted
to do it publicly. What he did next brought on even more tears, so much so that
my mascara was now running down my face. I was one mess. He announced that I
was coming today to join the church. Inwardly, I was shouting, “NO! That’s not
what I’m doing! I’m confessing my acceptance of the Lord!”
Everything moved quickly. I was handed a 3x5 card to fill
out, and then he encouraged the congregation to come and welcome me to the
church. From there, all I remember is one woman who really must have known what
happened to me. As she hugged me, she handed me a Kleenex, smiled, and said, “God
bless you, Sue.”
That woman became another friend and helped me begin to grow
in the Lord. There were so many things happening to me. Things that, now, I’m
so glad that I hadn’t had any teaching about. The Holy Spirit was guiding me
and showing me in the Word and through people brought into my life the truth.
I couldn’t get enough. I was so thirsty and needy. The main
thing I remember, and even to this day, is how it felt to finally not be alone.
I had the Lord ever with me. I now had my own “Hotline to Heaven.” I understood
what Gerri meant.
One of the first prayers I asked of the Lord was that He
would promise not to ever leave or forsake me. To this very day, He has kept
that promise. All through these past fifty-three years, not once has God ever
forsaken me or left me to fend for myself. Most of the time, if the truth be
known, it's me who has wandered away trying to do something on my own. But each
time I’d end up back before Him, asking Him to forgive me and help me surrender
my problem to Him.
I want to close this posting with this thought. I love God.
I love Him more than anything. He was the One who sought me through the Holy
Spirit and never gave up on me. Yes, you too can go to God at any time, and He
will welcome you into the family. No matter who you are or what you think you
have done that you don’t deserve God’s grace, you are wrong.
That’s exactly who God is looking for. So I offer you this
Christmas season a gift from God with this posting.
And as usual, I end with blessing you.
This is part of one of the devotions I read today that
prompted this posting.
Again, led by God, the Magi
followed His lead rather than reporting to the King. Like the Magi, we don’t
come to Jesus in the manger on our own, but are led by the guidance of His Holy
Spirit. Without Him, we would not be able to find the Messiah, just like
Herod couldn’t.