Harboring an offense…

Have you ever woken up feeling happy and ready to enjoy your day, only to get hit with an unexpected offense out of the blue? One of those things someone says or does that you were not expecting. Wham! It hits you right in that vulnerable spot that you didn’t think you still had.

As a Christian, God has done an incredible work in me. It’s taken 54 years, and there’s more work to do. No one will ever be perfect this side of Heaven. But, when I realize how much God has healed me of in my emotions and attitudes, I am SO grateful!

One of the crazy parts of what happens when we are offended is that it can be by the smallest thing. Satan comes at us and hits us in our most vulnerable spot. That one “word” spoken by someone, whether friend or foe, can turn into a festering boil inside of us.

Such was what happened to me this morning. This is going to sound silly, but it goes to show that no matter what is said or done, it can reach into us, and we find ourselves slipping from joy to mulling over an offense all day if we are not careful.

I recently made a purchase I probably shouldn’t have, on a whim. For that, I take full responsibility. But I decided to right the wrong of my spontaneous purchase and list it in the community Newsletter. Because of my love of writing, I wrote what I thought was a humorous ad that would at least bring a smile to someone’s face, even if they weren’t interested in buying the article.

I submitted it and waited in anticipation for the Newsletter to come as it does every Thursday morning. Well, here is where that sinister dart found its mark. The ad I wrote was NOT what they printed. They took my creative description and boiled it down to three lines. They might as well have said, “Dead cat for sale, call this number.” That was about as exciting, or should I say would have been more exciting.

They simply said what the item was, what I was hoping to sell it for, and a number to call. When I read it all, all I could think was, “Why?” Maybe they thought all the other descriptive additions were just for their information? Maybe they don’t consider the FOR SALE section of the Newsletter a place for anyone to display their sense of humor?

Needless to say, it stung! Now what am I supposed to do? Within a few minutes of waking up with joy and anticipation of my day with the Lord, I have now been offended, and it’s all I can think about.

Do I want to email this person and tell them exactly what they did? YES! Do I think I deserve to have my say in the matter? Yes! Will I send my poison-darted email to this person, thinking that I’ll get closure? NO! Most likely, it will cause me even more pain and humiliation when they repost my ad with their comments.

So I came here, to my safe place. But first went to the Lord asking HIM to help me forgive this person through whom the offense came. I don’t want to carry this in my heart. I rarely run into this person where I live, and don’t want the OLD Sue to rear her ugly head and be rude to them. The sad part is that the people who are doing the offending most of the time have no idea they have wounded someone.

We are told to forgive those who offend us. That’s not easy on your own. I know because for years I could dredge up offenses like a net full of fish! I can’t afford to let this continue today. As I have gotten older, the Holy Spirit has helped me let go of so many things because if I don’t, it breaks my fellowship with the Lord, and NOTHING is worth that!

My heart goes out to anyone reading this post who has been offended and has allowed it to turn into a painful, poisonous boil in their heart and mind. Please, if you know the Lord, ask Him to help you let it go. If you don’t know the Lord, then this is a good time to come to Him, and let His love and forgiveness bring salvation to your life. I can’t think of a better outcome for being offended than being turned into one of the most Glorious decisions in your life.

I bless you!

Do you know that God knits?

I am a crafter. I’ve loved all kinds of crafts, but one day the Lord asked me to narrow down my creativity. Of course, writing was no. 1. When I looked at the boxes full of unfinished crafts, I realized that I started all of them with great intentions of finishing them, but I didn’t.

But writing books has been what I go back to and complete them as God gives me the stories. So I boxed up all the many crafts and donated them to a thrift shop. It was hard to do, I have to admit. But once I decided that writing held my heart, I could give the other things away, hoping that someone would finish them and have great joy in doing so. But God finishes what he creates. He knits. Yes, he actually does knit. Here is proof of it.

Psalms 139: 13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit them together in my mother’s womb. 14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! It is amazing to think about. Your workmanship is marvelous—and how well I know it. 15 You were there while I was being formed in utter seclusion! 16 You saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in your book! 17-18 How precious it is, Lord, to realize that you are thinking about me constantly! I can’t even count how many times a day your thoughts turn toward me. And when I wake in the morning, you are still thinking of me!

Isn’t that amazing?! When I read this scripture, my creative mind can see God kiting every part of us. He fashioned each one of us to be uniquely perfect. When no one else had laid eyes on us, God saw every detail while He finished us. But that’s not the end of His loving attention to every detail about us.

Read this again.

How precious it is, Lord, to realize that you are thinking about me constantly! I can’t even count how many times a day your thoughts turn toward me. And when I wake in the morning, you are still thinking of me!

Maybe you are feeling alone in your life right now. Maybe you wonder if anyone even sees you. God does!

When we become a Christian, and the Holy Spirit moves into our lives as teacher, guide, and helper, God’s focus becomes even greater. He loves being my friend. He loves spending every moment with me. I think there are times when I don’t see myself as precious or appreciate the fact that I am God's workmanship. But God continues to admire his handiwork, which I am.

Think about that. Have there been times that you made something with your own hands and stepped back and thought how perfect of a job you did? Well, that’s what God does with us. He looks lovingly at us, admiring his handiwork. God doesn’t make anything imperfect. When he fashions each one of us the way he does, he sees us as perfection.

I don’t know if God used knitting needles when He knits us, but He certainly loves what He creates. I hope today that I will look not only at myself but also at everyone I encounter and see us all as God’s handiwork.

I pray today that you will believe that God sees you right now, no matter where you are, and if you have not welcomed Him into your life, would you accept His salvation?

I bless you.

If you love to read, perhaps you would go check out what I have finished of my writing. Each book will open up the door to characters, places, and stories that God wrote through me.

https://www.amazon.com/stores/Susan-Todd/author/B0082D161E?ref=ap_rdr&shoppingPortalEnabled=true&ccs_id=1ebb91f4-2949-4faf-8904-7635a841bf26

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Unbelievable!!

Well, here I am at last posting something new. I’ve had a few things floating around in my mind and spirit, but never could nail any of them down until today.

Recently, I have been reediting all my books. It’s hard to open them and see that there are so many things underlined in red, especially since I thought that I had edited them so well before. I have never been a good speller and admit to not having a handle on grammar either. But that hasn’t kept me from writing.

I always thought how strange that God gave me such a desire to write a book, and yet I am so poor at being good at these two highly needed skills. I guess just admitting to my fault will help any readers to forgive my mistakes.

One of the books that I have just finished reediting again is Living in My God-Given Square.  https://www.amazon.com/stores/SusanTodd/author/B0082D161Eref=ap_rdr&shoppingPortalEnabled=true&ccs_id=1ebb91f4-2949-4faf-8904-7635a841bf26

It’s about my life and how the Lord has healed so many emotional hurts that I endured because of what other people deposited into my life.

I live in a Christian community, so I guess that I take it for granted that other people living here have a similar relationship with the Lord as I do. Believe me, I am NOT perfect, nor do I think that my relationship with God lacks more work. God will never be through with any of us until we step into Heaven.

I guess when I’ve had the opportunity to share things about my life with someone I’ve met here, I’m amazed at how quizzically they look at me. I realize even more the difference when they say that they have never had any experiences with the Lord, as I have.

I know the real truthful answer to that is maybe they aren’t as NEEDY as I am. I have always needed the Lord. If it wasn’t for Him, I don’t know how I’d have made it this far in life. Reediting this book has been a reminder of just how much God has changed me. I was such an emotional mess. Day after day, the same old records ran around in my head over and over. I could remember every word that person said to me, even down to what they were wearing and where we were at the time. Sometimes I truly believed that I would go crazy and have to be committed somewhere.

All I wanted was to be normal. But what is normal? I don’t think I’ve ever run into a normal person. There have been times when I envied a person’s life just because they weren’t plagued with my problem and never had been. But today, as I have an occasion to meet new people and, within a few minutes of talking to them, I see that their problem might not be the same as mine, but they are still dragging around baggage from their struggles.

God is no respecter of persons. I am not a special case. (Although I am the Apple of God’s eye!) But so are you. How He can make each one of us feel that we are His special child, I don’t know. But I was never anyone’s special person growing up and years into my adult life. Other than God, having the love of my son has made me feel special. I know that he loves me and that I love him beyond words. So many parents are estranged from their children or at least one child, and I can’t even imagine how that feels. I have been so blessed with my relationship with my son. Because of that, the hurt in the eyes of another person who doesn’t even know where their child is, let alone have any communication with them, leaves me saddened.

I hope that will be one of the first things God does when he brings a renewal and revival to the world one last time before He comes back. When I think about how God must feel right now, being separated from one of his children for whatever reason, and it being compounded over thousands of times—goes beyond my imagination. Not to mention people who have never accepted His love and forgiveness. Having to watch these people every day, knowing that He can help them and change their lives, and they refuse Him over and over.

If you know the Lord and what He has done for you, take a moment to thank Him for all He has done for you.  But if you are still running from Him, thinking that you don’t need God, I pray that today something will cause you to stop, acknowledge God, ask for forgiveness, and step into your New God-Given Square! What a glorious thing will happen to you!

 

I bless you

Step up to my soapbox.

I’ve never considered myself to be one who made resolutions every year, mainly because I knew that I wasn’t going to keep them. My main concern about the New Year was always that my birthday is January 5^th. There have been a few years when turning another year older bothered me, but not many. This year, I did the same thing I always do—I forgot to add a year. I was born on January 5, 1949. So when I start counting up the years, I completely forget to add in that first year. I know, I know, what you think.

Consequently, once again this year, all of a sudden, a whole year flashed past my eyes. I went from thinking I was turning 76, but no, I’m 77. Ugh. It isn’t being 77 that bothers me, it's that mental block that irritates me. How can someone not know how old they are?

Also, while I’m on my soapbox, I need to take my own advice from the last posting. Because I’m not a resolution maker, for some reason this year, I’ve been flooded with thoughts about things I need to change this year. I can’t do any of this. My mind has insisted on keeping the list that I refused to put down on paper; it keeps getting longer.

My health is the biggest—biggie.

Trying to find a good gluten-free lifestyle?

Find a healthy remedy for sleep?

Try to extend my life through better habits all the way around?

Get back to writing more.

BUT HOW???!!!

So, yes, I have become overwhelmed. What is overwhelming me most of all is the mindset that I’m destined to fail in all categories. So, the Lord sweetly told me to go back and read my own last posting and follow my own advice. He’s always right. Instead of beating myself up and running in circles, I need to STOP! There is only ONE thing I need to do, and I can't even do that. Years ago, the Lord spoke this phrase to me during one of my frustrating times of life (of which there have been many). He said,

“Susan, let me let you let me.”

He said this because when I boiled it all down in my head, I had said, “Lord, I can't even do that! I can’t even let you help me.”

When I heard that phrase, I realized that where I needed to start was to hand over my—let-er. So, I’m asking the Lord once again to help me start there, by admitting that I have to depend on Him to even help let me let Him let me. I know it sounds confusing, but if you’re struggling with realizing that to ask God to help you, you can’t even do that without His help.

We humans are so annoying. I don’t know how God stands us. But He does more than that, He LOVES us UNCONDITIONALLY.

I stopped spinning my wheels today, laid it all down, and in prayer told the Lord that He already knew that these struggles would come. I’ll start this journey with my own advice. I’ll seek Him FIRST, and all these things will be added to me.

I even stopped the mental list-making. God knows what and where I need to start after seeking Him first. I felt relieved. Like the self-inflicted burden was lifted off my shoulders.

Now, every morning when I wake up and say, “Good morning, Lord.” I’ll ask Him to direct my path. All my life, since becoming a Christian, He has never failed, not once, to direct my path until I’ve found myself sitting right here in this apartment in Florida. I’m sure along the way, no, let me rephrase that, I’m POSITIVE he had to use some very strong prodding methods to get me back on the path when I had ventured off it.

My heart is so overwhelmed right now with a sense of His love and forgiveness. I don’t know what I’d do without Him.

Once again, I’d encourage you to reconsider seeking God’s salvation message if you are not a believer. One day, and I think it's coming soon, life as we know it will end. You don’t want to be one of those people who will realize that there is a God and you were wrong. That you’ll be staring eternity in the face and hear the most devastating thing any man or woman can hear God say, “Depart from me for I never knew you.”

God does know you, after all, he created you. What He’s saying is you, and He did not have a relationship.

So, please reconsider accepting the Lord.

I bless you.

 

Those pesky resolutions.

The only resolution you need to make this year comes with an ironclad promise of fulfillment is James 4:8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double-minded.

I can absolutely guarantee you that when you get serious about your faith, God will meet you. Even before the words come out of your mouth.

How can I make such a claim, you ask? Because I’ve done it so many times. One of the conversations that I have with God when I have gone through a period of being apathetic about time with the Lord is this: “Lord, I give you just the slightest moment, and you pour your presence on me in a bucketful.”

You CANNOT outgive God, you just can’t. We give a speck, and he gives equivalent to the sands of the seashore. It humbles me every time.

I ask myself why I get complacent when I KNOW that time spent with God is the most valuable thing I can do. The word familiarity comes to me. It’s no different than when we do it with friends or family—especially those we trust to always be there. And those are the very ones that we should give the most honor to in our lives BECAUSE they are trustworthy.

As I began to make a list of things I have been putting off doing for an hour a day, time with God was No. 1, but it made me sad. I shouldn’t even have to put Him on a list that limits Him to one hour of my time.

I talk to God all day. I include Him even in my dishwashing time. Or when I’m going down the hallway to take my trash or go get my mail. I’m aware of His presence every minute of my day, so I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about that sweet, door-closed, undistracted, one-on-one time with Him. Just like we do when someone comes to see us and we give them our undivided attention. If anyone deserves such attention, it is God.

What usually happens when I do this is I find myself being more productive in those other areas on my list. It's amazing. One minute, I had no desire to go back to writing on a book I started months ago, or teach myself to play the piano, or walk down the hallway and back twice a day, and other things I want to do.

The Holy Spirit in me fills me with new strength and the WILL to do these other things. I can sit here and tell you about this experience, but when you decide to do it yourself, that's when you’ll truly understand. The only thing you have to do is be sure that you are a Christian. That sometime in your life you dealt with believing that Jesus is the son of God and that He paid your sin debt on the cross, and asked Him into your life.

Many people think that just because they believe in God that they are saved. That’s no more true than going to church every Sunday saves you. The question you have to answer is, do you have a real close relationship with God? You’ll know if you do without my even asking.

The saddest verses in the Bible to me are Matthew 7: 20-24 

Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them. 21 Not everyone that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? 23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity. 24 Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:

People take these verses to mean that God doesn’t know that you exist. He knows every person on the earth. What Jesus is saying is that you never had a relationship with Him. I know a lot of people. Some by occasional conversations, and some just in passing enough to say, “Hi, how are you?” But I don’t really KNOW these people. But the people I feel that I know are those I spend time with—intimate, close times of sharing.

As 2025 closes and the calendar rolls over to January 1^st, we always have another chance to stop putting off the things we put on our lists. I threw my list away. I only bowed my head and asked the Lord to forgive my apathy towards Him because of familiarity. Then whatever other things he wants me to spend my time on, He’ll make known to me and give me the desire and the strength to do them.

So, my dear reader, if you want your life to be different and wonder if there is really a promise that you can depend on other than yourself, I guarantee you that there is.

God.

I wish that you would take the next few minutes and do the first thing to change your life this year.

I bless you.

 

 

 

 

 

Do you know that God is waiting on you?

This morning, as it draws near to Christmas, there are so many devotionals and even worldly postings about the birth of Jesus. Most speak about the way the Maji were led by a star shining more brightly in the sky. A star that had been predicted. I thought about how God has everything lined up to happen exactly when it's supposed to happen. God leads us even when we don’t know that he’s doing it.

I wasn’t looking for God when He drew me to Himself. I knew there was a God, but had no idea about Him or Jesus or the Holy Spirit. They were never mentioned in my life. Then, when I first moved to Live Oak and went to work at a local beauty shop, God’s plan for my life began to unfold.

Her name was Gerri, and she worked out at the boys’ ranch as a secretary. One Friday afternoon, I answered the phone, and it was Gerri wanting a late-night hair appointment. She said that it would take about thirty minutes after five o’clock before she could get here. That meant that I would have to stay late on Friday night. Being new in the area, my clientele hadn’t grown yet, so having to sit and wait on a client that late was asking more of me than I thought I could do.

But something prompted me to agree to her request and promise that she would become a regular customer. So not only was I about to stay late this Friday, but all the Fridays after. When Gerri arrived, it felt as though we were meant to meet. Doing her hair didn’t seem like the reason we met. Soon afterward, we became close friends. We blended our kids (she had three, and I had one) and became one family. Most nights, we ate supper together and talked for hours afterward. I began to watch Gerri closely. No matter what happened in her life, she always had this way about her. I, on the other hand, a way too, but it was being depressed, frustrated, and overwhelmed when something happened to me.

Finally, I asked how she stayed happy. I think I almost blamed her with my tone of voice as if she was doing something wrong. She smiled at me and said, “Sue, it’s my hotline to Heaven.”

I groaned and offered a few words I won’t repeat here, but I did say, “Oh, please Gerri, not religion!”

She said, “No, you’re right, it’s not religion, it's Jesus. I have a relationship with Jesus. He’s always with me, and He helps me with everything.”

That night, I grumbled all the way home. That wasn’t the answer I wanted from my friend. I wanted some sort of action I could take when hard times hit—and there were a lot of hard times for me. As the days went on, I questioned Gerri more, seeking a different answer, but she always gave me the same one. Gerri wasn’t perfect. She got mad at her kids, smoked, and complained about life sometimes. But that smile always came back on her face. But it wasn’t just Gerri who was constantly reminding me about Jesus; it was the Holy Spirit, although at the time I didn’t know it.

I came under such conviction that one night I couldn’t sleep. I sat up in bed and nearly shouted out loud, “What is this? What is happening to me?”

I felt for the first time in my life that God was not just a thought, but He had a voice and He was speaking to me. At first, it scared me. It was so real. My mind was saying things that my mouth wasn’t. Then my heart got involved, and all the words Gerri had spoken to me over the past weeks came rushing in. I didn’t understand what was happening, but I felt such a relief that I cried and surrendered to God. I said, “God, if you are really real and want my life, I give it to you. I need you. I can’t keep living like this.”

Something happened to me sitting there in my bed, something that needed more explaining. So the next night, when I went to Gerri’s house, when we were alone in the kitchen, I asked her what it felt like to be saved. She smiled and told me. Then I said, “Gerri, I think I got saved last night.”

Again, she smiled widely, and tears came to her eyes. “Sue, I knew the minute you walked in tonight that something was different about you!”

I now had the same Jesus living in me that Gerri had living in her. But God wasn’t done yet. I asked her what I needed to do now. She explained being baptized and making a public confession. She also said that she knew my walk with the Lord was going to be different than hers. She knew that I was going to go to church every time the doors opened, and she was right.

A customer of mine had given me a copy of The Living Bible that previous Christmas, and I’d glanced through it, but that was a far as I went. But now I began to devour the pages. I couldn’t get enough. I grumbled about having to find a church and be baptized, asking Gerri why I had to do that. Wasn’t just accepting the Lord enough? But as the days went on, I was so convicted that these steps had to be completed in my life. So on a summer morning, I finally decided to go to Westward Baptist Church. I stood as the invitation song began, clutching the back of the pew in front of me. Finally, I couldn’t stand it any longer. I brushed past the people sitting to my right and nearly charged down the aisle. I remember all too well the startled look on the preacher’s face. I don’t know if he had ever had anyone like me in such a state of mind that morning.

I quickly told him that I had accepted the Lord and wanted to do it publicly. What he did next brought on even more tears, so much so that my mascara was now running down my face. I was one mess. He announced that I was coming today to join the church. Inwardly, I was shouting, “NO! That’s not what I’m doing! I’m confessing my acceptance of the Lord!”

Everything moved quickly. I was handed a 3x5 card to fill out, and then he encouraged the congregation to come and welcome me to the church. From there, all I remember is one woman who really must have known what happened to me. As she hugged me, she handed me a Kleenex, smiled, and said, “God bless you, Sue.”

That woman became another friend and helped me begin to grow in the Lord. There were so many things happening to me. Things that, now, I’m so glad that I hadn’t had any teaching about. The Holy Spirit was guiding me and showing me in the Word and through people brought into my life the truth.

I couldn’t get enough. I was so thirsty and needy. The main thing I remember, and even to this day, is how it felt to finally not be alone. I had the Lord ever with me. I now had my own “Hotline to Heaven.” I understood what Gerri meant.

One of the first prayers I asked of the Lord was that He would promise not to ever leave or forsake me. To this very day, He has kept that promise. All through these past fifty-three years, not once has God ever forsaken me or left me to fend for myself. Most of the time, if the truth be known, it's me who has wandered away trying to do something on my own. But each time I’d end up back before Him, asking Him to forgive me and help me surrender my problem to Him.

I want to close this posting with this thought. I love God. I love Him more than anything. He was the One who sought me through the Holy Spirit and never gave up on me. Yes, you too can go to God at any time, and He will welcome you into the family. No matter who you are or what you think you have done that you don’t deserve God’s grace, you are wrong.

That’s exactly who God is looking for. So I offer you this Christmas season a gift from God with this posting.

And as usual, I end with blessing you.

This is part of one of the devotions I read today that prompted this posting.

Again, led by God, the Magi followed His lead rather than reporting to the King. Like the Magi, we don’t come to Jesus in the manger on our own, but are led by the guidance of His Holy Spirit. Without Him, we would not be able to find the Messiah, just like Herod couldn’t.

How did you wake up this morning?

Every day in the senior apartment that I live in, they make it a daily point to check on every resident. If by a certain time we don’t check in, the person manning the desk will call us. I joke with one of the callers that I’m up, I have a pulse, and can talk and take in nourishment, so he can check all those boxes. It’s a pleasantry between us, but this morning the Lord really reminded me what a blessing every one of those check marks means to my life.

It’s a cold, damp, rainy day here in Florida. There’s a massive cold front coming to the northern and mid states that they say is going to be extreme. My weather here today might cause some extra stiffness to my old bones, but nothing like what some people are going to experience.

Then, as my mind began the conversation with the Lord, I thought about people who will be out in the weather today. Some by choice and some by no choice of their own. People who once owned a home, perhaps through financial loss, health loss, or job loss, will find themselves living on the street or in their cars and even under a bridge. That is an incredible thing for me to even imagine. I was close to living in my car several years ago, but by the grace of God’s hand, he moved me into the middle of his plan for my life.

One step after the next restored my life, and here I sit today by no other means but the mercy and love of God. I acknowledge that fact every day. This last move had some hard bumps along the way in having my expectations in another person instead of God alone. But this morning, my heart is so happy being where I am right now.

Then I remembered the day I went to administer medication out in the community as a nurse in the local health department tuberculosis clinic. I never knew where I would find some of the cases I brought the medication to. One case always comes to mind this time of year.

It was a family of about five, with the mother usually the hardest to catch up with. On this particular day, I was redirected to a trailer sitting just off the side of the road. When I knocked on the door, the eldest little girl let me in, who was probably only about ten years old. It was two days after Christmas, so some of the remains of what might have been these children’s gifts were scattered on the floor.

As she went to get two of her siblings up, the youngest little fellow was sleeping on the living room carpet. She made him sit up and told him to get up and go to the table, that the nurse was here. Still in his sleepy state of mind, he stood to his feet and somehow made it to sit in the chair at the kitchen table. I remember so clearly how my heart felt when I observed two things about him.

The lower part of his shirt was wet, along with the front of his shorts. He obviously had wet himself during the night. The smell of urine was very evident. He was in no mood for anyone to try and persuade him to take a pill. But it was important that he did. But how do you explain that to a sleepy, urine-soaked little three-year-old? Even with the aid of applesauce that I always brought with me for such an occasion, he was having none of it. Even with his sister’s consoling, he pushed the spoon away. Something far greater was on his mind. The sister began to understand his frustration over the fact that he had lost something very important to him.

Lying on the carpet where he had slept was a tiny red mesh Christmas stocking that had probably held a couple of pieces of candy and maybe some small toy. If so, they were long gone, but the stocking was still the object of his affection.

When the sister retrieved it for him and handed it to him, his face lit up, and he stopped crying. He clutched that empty stocking in both hands as if he had just been handed the greatest gift in the whole world. As he now willingly opened his mouth to receive the spoonful of applesauce along with the small pill, my heart was about to pour out of my eyes.

I hardly made it to my car when my tears would not be contained. Even now, as I find myself in a place where I’m out of the weather, cared about by others, and able to start my day off acknowledging God’s love and mercy for my life, the tears come.

I’m reminded in this moment that there are people who are so less fortunate today. Somewhere in the world today, there’s another little child who will hold to something so minor as an empty, cheap dollar store Christmas stocking, and it will bring them peace.

Every day that we find ourselves awake and aware the we have a pulse and in a place of peace and care, there should be on our lips an offering of Praise and Thanksgiving. So I ask you again, how did you wake up this morning? My prayer today is that, for whatever reason, some people find themselves somewhere less than me, that God would have mercy on them and move on their behalf in such a miraculous way this Christmas season.

I hope that little boy found his way in life, where he was lifted out of the place he was in. God is no respecter of persons. I did nothing but yield to the Lord and let Him help me back onto my feet.

I bless you.

 Thanksgiving doesn't get the attention it deserves.

 

Thanksgiving has become all about eating turkey and all the fixings. Family gatherings and playing games out in the yard. Or for some, it’s another day of being homeless and hungry. Thanksgiving wasn’t meant to be either.

Thanksgiving, sadly, many Americans skip over the truth of how God was faithful to lead Christians who longed to openly serve Him, leave their homelands and everything behind, and risk their lives to set sail for a New World. Historian Rod Gragg explains in The Pilgrim Chronicles how, in England around 1606, the Pilgrims began as a group of Christian separatists seeking to worship Jesus in the purity of the Gospel, based on their beliefs and understanding of the Geneva Bible.

However, what they wanted to do was illegal and prohibited, resulting in harsh persecution for the Pilgrims. So they fled to Holland around 1609. But that was short-lived, as their children were being influenced to follow worldly Dutch ways in the Netherlands, prompting the Pilgrims to seek new living options. The hearing of the Jamestown settlement, the Pilgrims set out to borrow funds and request King James’ permission to make the Mayflower voyage.

Let me stop here, and let’s focus on what exactly is happening. Here’s a group of people about to get on a ship and sail off to somewhere sight unseen. That takes incredible strength and trust in God, not to mention an inner drive that they could not give up.

Columbus had sailed in fourteen ninety-two, reaching the Americas in October. The Pilgrims arrived on the Mayflower in sixteen twenty, about a hundred twenty-eight years later. Thanksgiving is about the faith of the Pilgrims. Our foundation was laid in biblical truth by the Pilgrims and led America’s Founders to establish godly principles. These biblical truths have given us the right to worship God freely.

Lincoln signed it into law on October 3, eighteen sixty-three, just before the Civil War got any worse. It set the last Thursday in November as the official day. He honored Sarah Josepha Hale’s request by proclaiming the last Thursday in November as a national day of Thanksgiving.

So you see, Thanksgiving involves a whole lot more than whether Publix has its turkeys on sale.

Put yourself on that boat that morning. Take very few possessions with you. Unsure of whether you’ll even live through the trip. Dealing with the elements, sea sickness, and perhaps even the loss of loved ones.

Our lives stand this Thanksgiving on the shoulders of some incredible fellow human beings. Surely, we can shut down the TV noise in the background, get quiet, and bow our heads to stand in silence, thanking these brave individuals for the freedoms we have today, our lifestyles, and so much more.

Our hearts should burst with joy over this Holiday before we put the last of the dinner preparations in the refrigerator, shut off the light, and head to bed.

I hope sometime during your celebration, you will take stock of all your blessings and realize they came with a cost that other people paid for you.

I bless you. Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Please hold on if you are at the brink of despair and hopelessness.

I listened to a young woman who has been furloughed from her government job, and her message hit me hard.

She was being as open and honest as a person could be. When she listed the things she has done over the years to better her life and the lives of her 4 children and husband… she broke down sobbing. She said,” I did everything right! I worked, went to school, and bettered myself after being in the army….I did everything right!”

She wasn’t asking for a handout; she was screaming out her mental, physical, and emotional pain, clearly displayed. She and others who have been the victims of this schoolyard fight between the two political parties are devastating this young woman and thousands of others.

Her next remark hit the core of this government shutdown. “All those throwing punches at one another go home to their families, not missing a beat. Their children are eating, their bills are being paid, and they are being paid. It’s the average hard-working, dedicated American individuals who are suffering.”

I’m not personally involved in this layoff, but it’s touching me anyway because it's touching my family. The big question is, what do you do when your income just STOPS? And there’s no end in sight?

I’ve been to that jumping-off spot so many times in my life. I’ve felt like this young woman who can hardly speak, let alone breathe. Hanging between where life has forced you to go and the pain of letting go is real. You find yourself dangling over what you feel is an inevitable loss.

It's hard not to hate right now. It’s hard not to want to scream in the faces you see in the news whose lives are in control of your life, and they are saying and doing nothing. It’s like a huge schoolyard fight between grown men and women who are punching the air while those around them are getting desperate.

I’ve had times when I just had to let go and let whatever my fate was going to be. Sometimes I thought I’d never see the next five minutes.

All I can offer to anyone who is suffering in that “what am I going to do” place today, might think my suggestion is lame.

It’s crying out to God, looking to Him and not the situation. Christians, you know Who your source is, and those of you who don’t know God… He’s right there with you, ready to catch you.

I’m living proof of a person coming back from the brink of despair and hopelessness. God NEVER left me nor forsook me.

I always bless my reader. This blessing is to encourage you to please reach out to the hand of God and watch him deliver you back on solid ground.

 

I bless you.

You always have something to give

It’s a clear autumn/fall Florida morning. The turkey buzzards have been circling over the river for hours. Obviously hunting breakfast. This thought led me to think about other references to God’s care for the birds.

Matthew 6:26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?

When you think about the animal kingdom, you find that they pretty much live day by day. We humans have to store vast amounts of things to ensure our future necessities are met. I’m not saying that it is a bad thing to be prepared for an emergency, but daily we should take no thought.

At this stage of my life, I have pretty much scaled down to mostly necessary daily “stuff.” I look around my apartment and am determined with this last move that all I wanted around me were things that hold a memory.

My dearest treasure is a teapot with little chubby legs wearing polka dot socks and Mary Jane shoes. The set includes two cups, a creamer, and a sugar bowl. These precious little character-laced charmers bring joy to my heart that words can’t describe. My son gave me these as a gift on Mother’s Day with the forewarning that when he saw this gift, it reminded him of me.

As the anticipation increased the day the box arrived, and I began to carefully move the tissue paper aside, the first thing I saw was a white lid to a teapot. I was pretty sure a gayly painted teapot was about to emerge. The more I uncovered the handle, spout, and finally the little round belly of the pot, it was all white!

I thought my son thinks his mother looks like a plain white teapot? Imagine how my heart filled with an unspeakable joy as my eyes overflowed when I pulled the teapot out to find its little legs and shoes!

I could hardly breathe. By the time the whole little family was unwrapped, my heart had been won over. Maybe it was my creative writer’s heart that caused me to see these new family members each having their own personality from that day on.

I shared about how hard it is sometimes to find where the sugar bowl has gotten off to. You probably have heard or said that something you’re looking for has grown legs and walked off! It gives me added joy to envision them trotting about the apartment at night while I’m sleeping.

Giving of gifts is one of the love languages. My son certainly hit a home run with this gift. He has, with many others, too, but this one has always been the best.

Which leads me to my title today. There is a gift that we always have to give to someone that is perfect. It fits every person in any walk of life. Man, woman, or child. That Gift is giving them Jesus. When Peter and John went to the temple, they ran into a lame man begging alms. They didn’t have any material thing to give this man, but they didn’t just walk away. They offered him what they did have in their possession. “Silver and gold have we not, but in the name of Jesus, rise up and walk.” That day, this man was given the most precious gift anyone had ever offered to him. It was a life-changing gift. Being lame had robbed him of all the everyday life events.

What if Peter and John had simply looked at their empty coin purse and said, “Sorry, we don’t have anything to give you,” and walked off? But they knew from being with Jesus that they had been given an endless supply of what other people need in their lives. And had been told to give it freely.

Isn’t it amazing that the most costly gift we as Christians have to give to another person was free to us and is free to give away?

But the truth is, this gift wasn’t free to the One who fulfilled the gift. It cost Jesus his very life. It cost him everything he had in this world. He was sent by the Father and cared for like the birds of the air. Every day, every second, Jesus was given what he needed for his life and those who walked with them. This man Jesus never owned anything, never had a big financial bankroll, no warehouse filled with material goods, and yet in every single situation, Jesus had exactly what was needed. Sometimes it was just to hear the truth. As Christians, we carry with us the perfect gift to give away to anyone God brings into our lives. And like my son’s statement of it looking just like me, Jesus fits everyone.

If you don’t feel like you have anything to give today, but you have the Gift of salvation through Jesus and the indwelling Holy Spirit, then you have a gift that will fill another person’s life with everything they need. And we can give it away freely!

Freely we have received, freely we are told to give.

I always end with I bless you… that blessing is offering you your own walk with God.

I pray that you will receive this offer today.

I bless you!

This post is partly about something I can’t even begin to imagine.

I will ask you to go with me to the last moments of your life. I realize that it isn’t what most people want to think about, so we humans put it off for as long as we can. But it’s more than the punch line,“ the only two sure things in life are death and taxes.”

It seems that we will usually do anything to humorize the inevitable. I’ve been thinking recently of the only two outcomes of dying. First, I should clarify that no one actually dies. We only leave this world to enter into another. Everyone is going to live somewhere for eternity.

The choices are taking the Gift of God, His Son’s death on the cross as our substitute payment for sin by confessing with our mouth and believing with our hearts that the Blood of Jesus paid our ransom. A Christian’s death is a celebration, a HOME COMING!

When all of us left Heaven and our Creator, He sent our soul and spirit into a minuscule beginning of reproducing human matter that would become our dwelling place. Everything about who we would become entered that watery womb. What was being built in secret was simply a housing for our soul and spirit. During that time, we had no idea where we were going or into whose human hands we would be gifted. But God knew.

You are not a random collection of “parts” that God threw together and sent you forth. It’s nearly impossible to understand the depth of thought that the Almighty God put into creating each one of us. He set us adrift into this world, watching and anticipating our return Home to Him. Some of us have had a tremendous journey. Stumbling, getting back up, and falling again. Periods of calm and occasional peaceful days, where we breathe a sigh of relief. But even in those days, our feet are still leading us to the last moment of our life, where the decision will have already been made, either Eternal Life or eternal death. For a Christian, the grave was swallowed up and the sting taken out of it for us by Jesus. But that reality has to come to each one of us through activating our Faith before that last day comes.

Once the clock ticks forward on that day to the last moment, every decision we made or neglected to make is final. Game over! But it’s not a game; it’s been an orchestrated plan that was laid out for us to make choices. God, all the while knowing the outcome, has been cheering us on, sending things we were expected to notice as signs pointing in His direction. Sadly, and as unbelievable as it is, some people will believe that God doesn’t exist, or if He does, they choose not to believe in Him. Their human understanding of where they will go when death comes knocking, asking for that payment, they will simply cease to exist—poof, they are gone.

So here is my original thought at the beginning of this post—What does an atheist do when they step out of this world only to see that they were wrong!? There stands the Holy Son of God, Jesus, the Father, and the Holy Spirit as their greeting committee. Will they scream, “Oh, God! I was wrong!" And shudder at the thought that they made the biggest unchangeable mistake of their life!

Someone recently asked me if God is so loving that surely he won't send a decent, good person to a tormenting hell. Their explanation to me of what they thought hell is going to be like comes from man’s replication of their imagination. It usually contains devils with pitchforks, flames leaping higher than the person’s head, and burning, unquenchable, heaping coals of fire for all eternity. I am no authority on that. No one is. God has given evidence of such things in His Word, which ought to send shivers down the spine of any nonbeliever.

This returns me to my original thought. Here stands an atheist who now knows the truth and that what they held to all their life was a lie.

Here is my personal understanding of what hell will be like for them. Knowing now that they will be eternally separated from God. Not another person will come witness to them, not another gospel hymn on a radio will be heard, not another coworker will share Jesus with them ever again. All the chances will flash before their eyes over and over, creating a suffering that I can’t begin to understand, such suffering, and it will never end. Knowing that you had a chance for a completely different outcome, and they turned it down time and time again. I have to pause here for a moment because my heart is breaking for these people.

So, now I will give you my personal belief of what will be my experience when my clock ticks forward in this world for the last time.

First and foremost, my eyes shall finally behold my Savior—Jesus Christ in all his glory! What I only knew in shadow will have now stepped out into the Light, and I will see Him face to face! I’ve carried this next part in my heart as my personal entrance into the presence of God.

Jesus will tenderly welcome me, extend His arm toward me, and gently entwine my arm around His. He will cover my hand with His and ask me a question, “Susan, are you ready?”

I honestly don’t know if I will be able to get the words out to answer Him—yes. Then, as the Bride, I have become He, and I will begin that slow, purposeful walk down the aisle leading to the Throne of God the Father. My eyes will be fixed on the Person I have waited a lifetime to behold.

The closer we get, the more I’ll hardly be able to take another step, but the strong arm of Jesus will steady me. When we take that last step ending at the Throne, Jesus will turn to the Father and say, “Father, Susan is home.”

I’ve never written this out; I’ve only verbally shared with others that this is the welcoming Home scene that I play in my mind. My tears come every time because it’s the very core of what I believe when I became a Christian. I want to see God—I WILL see God at last.

I don’t know what or if your last moment here contains either of these possibilities. I pray that some form of your entrance into eternity has for you something similar to mine.

Because my spirit and heart are so emotional right now, the contrast at the beginning of this post begs a moment of prayer. Who can afford that? Who can come to the end of their life and realize that life isn’t really over, but the chances of doing differently are.

Because God is Merciful and Righteous, he will have given that person numerous times to change their minds. My other thought about all this is that God didn’t create one soul with the intention of sending them to hell. He gave us all a foolproof solution. A Gift of His own Son suffering and dying an unimaginable, tormented death on a cross, stripped bare before the world so that we would be saved. Who turns that down? What possible reason could they give for doing such a thing, yet some will do that very thing.

So I end this post torn between my eyes, seeing my promised entrance into the Throne Room of God and my precious Escort. And that picture of the moment or realization dawning on an atheist who now knows the truth, but it’s too late.

If only one person reads this and it gives them pause to reconsider where they will spend eternity, then I have given them thought.

I bless you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Believe it or not… It’s never too late

 

I started my day with a devotional about regrets. The writer listed several regrets she, as a nurse, had heard people who were near death state.

I read the question at the end to fill in the blank of what I regretted, and I had to stop and think. I’m ashamed to say that I wasted so much of my life by putting off things I should have gotten up and started.

Now, at my age, that habit hasn’t grown easier but harder. I have this long conversation telling myself that once I get up and get started, it will get done. (The elves have never come in overnight and done any of my projects.)

It's strange that when I was younger, I remember saying to myself, “Sue, take it easy, or you’ll burn yourself out and have nothing left when you get old.”

I should have listened. You wouldn’t believe what I could do in one day when I was younger. I didn’t know how to pace myself. I thought I had to get it all done in one day.

Now I spend so much time trying to convince myself to just get up. Now that I’ve confessed, the thought came to me as I contemplated my regrets, when the Holy Spirit clearly said, “Sue, no matter what you regret having not done, you can start right now.”

I thought about that. Today is the day that the Lord has made to rejoice and be glad in. Even if today is the very last day I see this side of heaven, that thing that I kept putting off, I can start today.

When I moved here to Florida, I wanted a new beginning. The main thing I prayed for was that my faith in the Lord would be the same on the outside of me as it is on the inside. I wanted God to be more important to me than anyone or anything else. I thought at seventy-six it was surely time.

God has been answering that prayer, but not in the way I thought. Several things took a turn I wasn’t expecting. It threw me. But once He loved and comforted me and got me quiet, I began to see that He really was answering my prayer. Nothing is like having your schedule wiped out along with things you thought were going to happen.

I had no choice but to draw close to the Holy Spirit. I was so discouraged and hurt. But if the things I had been planning once I got here had happened, I wouldn’t have drawn nearer to the Lord. We think we are going to do something when, in fact, if you are like me, you end up every night telling the Lord I promise I’ll start tomorrow.

Don’t let the lie of it being too late overwhelm your mind. The other thing that the Holy Spirit whispered to me was, “Why not start now?”

No matter how much time any of us has left here, we can use it wisely. We can start with rejoicing and being glad in this day. We can focus on the goodness of God. We can tell Him how thankful we are for another day. Then let that lead to listing the blessings we have. Before I knew it, I was sitting here writing this post that I had been putting off.

Whatever you regret in your life, if you are physically or mentally able to do it, start right now. Begin by telling the Lord, Thank you for this day and see where it goes.

 

I bless you.

                                           Endless loneliness.

If reading that title makes your mind begin to scream, your breathing quickens, and your stomach tightens, then you need to keep reading.

I don’t think there is a human condition worse than loneliness. Usually, loneliness is brought on by separation from people. Whether family, friends, or even an occasional relationship with someone who isn’t strongly connected to you. In my times of loneliness, I would have opted for even that marginal relationship.

My absolute worst time of each day started around 5 o’clock, with between 6 and 7 o’clock the hardest. It came like a subtle, thick fog-soup that rolled over my heart and mind every single day. No matter what I tried to do to distance myself from the fact that I was alone, sometimes it made it worse.

The automatic pictures began to play in my mind. Husbands and wives were coming home, kids were preparing to ambush them at the door, all vying for their attention to share what had happened in their day.

Once the initial greeting was over, they gathered in the kitchen while finishing touches were put on the evening meal. Kids scrambled onto their chairs, and Dad stole a kiss from his wife before they, too, were seated at the table. Plates were served while the chatter found a lower urgency. But it was then taken up with laughter, or even tears, of the frustration of growing children. But somehow it was always resolved. In my mind, even the house seemed to hug its occupants, reassuring them of its protective walls.

The picture continues through babies and younger children peeking out from a bath full of bubbles. Tickles and hugs were given without limit. Bedtime stories were picked up where they left off until little heads nodded off in safe, contented sleep. Nightlights were left on to guide a sleepy child later in the night to find the bathroom or crawl up into mom and dad’s bed. Even though the people in my daily scenario had settled down, the picture still held a strong sense of peace and safety.

Standing outside through the hours of this daily torture left me exhausted as I tumbled into my own bed—alone. For a few brief hours, I was paroled from these mental pictures only to be set on a new course of daytime activity.

People heavily invested in coworkers, agreeing to go for drinks or dinner together after work, or catch the latest movie. The list never ended. Every direction I turned, there was someone making plans to be with another person. I'm glad that the screaming that was always going on in my head never found its way out of my mouth. I'm sure I would have been committed to a mental ward somewhere.

Now, to be completely honest, there were a few times I dove headlong into relationships for brief periods. I can’t tell you exactly what drew these people, who I thought were going to be my forever friends and family, but something always did.

My most recent heartbreak due to desertion by a friend came with my latest move. Oh, what glorious expectations I had! This time of my life was finally going to be the fulfillment of the Word God gave me years ago—My later years will be greater than my former years.

For a brief moment, it appeared that I was about to walk in the long-awaited promise. Instead, the all too familiar fog of loneliness and depression rolled into my apartment. Along with it, this time was a massive dose of guilt for not forcing myself to become something that I am not—a social butterfly. God didn’t give me that personality.

But once the major disappointment grew quiet, I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and made a conscious decision to venture out into this senior community where my life had been deposited. Four people began to look like they might hold the promise of at least one of them becoming that close, intimate one-on-one friendship my soul longs for. Slowly, it began to dawn on me that they, too, had other friends, family, and obligations that drew them away.

My heart has been crying out for months now. Who’s left? Where is that close friend that I was so sure we would be inseparable? There’s nothing like hearing the crickets of silence in your loneliness.

I had prayed a prayer just before moving here, asking the Lord to make my faith more real than it ever has been before. The plan I saw wasn’t anything like what has been unfolding for the past year.

Sitting on the side of my bed, crying out to the Lord to lift these disappointing trials, has been met with a resounding reassurance by the Holy Spirit, telling me that He is with me.

I’ve been hearing the Lord constantly reminding me of my prayer. It’s hard for us human beings to believe that God longs for our friendship even more than we long for the friendship of others. He waits in the line of people and activities to become empty to us so that we will draw near to Him and He will draw near to us.

I am ashamed to admit that my life’s desire to have that one close friend wasn’t always looking to Jesus as THE One who will fulfill that desire. The one who promises to stick closer than a brother. The one who promises to never leave me or forsake me. The only one who can and will meet my every emotional, mental, and physical need.

The argument I have had with the Holy Spirit is because I can’t SEE Jesus. It’s an internal dialog that I have to surrender to and trust that the two voices I hear are my own and that of the Holy Spirit, all by faith.

When I do this, every physical sense of loneliness fades away. I’m talking to my friend. He’s listening to my heart’s cry. He reassures me that He is truly here with me, and I am finally not alone. And I hear His voice even more when I submit to times of reading the Word.

I am facing another insurmountable situation again. One where people have already disappointed me with not doing what they said they would do. So the Holy Spirit sweetly reigns me back in closer to Him with the promise that He is working everything out. That he once again will overrule the world’s systems on my behalf, but it might not look like it did the last time.

So, I came to my keyboard today, right in the middle of all the swirling thoughts, to surrender what I think should happen and most of all, when it should happen, and trust God with it all. Especially the human element of people not doing what they say. I have to let go. Once I have followed all the Lord’s leading in doing my part, then I have to rest in Him.

When I try to force the situation, all I do is end up spinning my wheels, becoming more frustrated, and end up sitting on the edge of my bed at 3 a.m., reaching for God.

It’s a never-ending day, moment by moment walk with God. I’ve decided that I’ll never get it right. But the times that He draws me close, quiets my heart and whispers that He’s got me and not to be afraid, there is nothing in this whole world worth trading that for. No human relationship. No perfect mental pictures. Nothing. There’s nothing like having your heart and mind overshadowed by the Love of God when everything in you is screaming out for release.

If you find your life in the whirling pool of emotional craziness and hopelessness, let me assure you that there is a place you can go. God is waiting on you to run into Him and be saved.

I bless you.

 

Has anyone ever told you, “Don’t get your hopes up.”

When all hope is lost in our lives, we give up. I’ve been there. It took years of my soul being beaten down by my father’s broken promises. I truly believe that God gives all of us as children a sense of hope. The Biblical definition of hope is this,

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. vs. 6 But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

I placed all my hope in my father. Over and over, he proved unfaithful. I sought my father’s love continually. No matter how many times he disappointed me, I went right back believing that he didn’t mean to disappoint me, and THIS time it would be different. After I was in my late thirties, I finally ran out of hope and love for him. There just wasn’t another drop in my tank.

In a way, it was a relief. It was over. I’d not have to go another second waiting for him to come to some sort of epiphany—It never came. I had to face the truth at last. As I walked away from my earthly father, I saw my Heavenly Father walking toward me. He embraced not only my tired adult heart but my broken child heart still within me.

There’s not a feeling in this world like having the arms of God go around you, drawing you close. Nothing was being said, just a warmth and acceptance in that moment. Was there work to be done in me now? Yes, the path was before me to regain all the hope that I had lost since a child. That seemed like a daunting task. But the difference now was WHO I was putting my renewed hope in.

I searched the Word and the ways that God has been faithful to me in so many ways. I’d been a Christian for fifteen years. I’d come to know God’s faithfulness through so many other times in my life when I went to Him like I had my father. It took time. But two promises that God has never broken have been that He would never leave me or forsake me. These were the first two things I asked God to promise me.

I’d been left by my father, and still I hung on to the belief that he was coming back. He destroyed my trust in him too many times to count. One day I asked myself why did I kept doing this. I knew he wasn’t trustworthy or even had a glimmer of regret about anything he failed to do in my life. That undeniable childlike faith, trust, and hope that is deposited in each of us when we are born is oftentimes misplaced. We place it in a broken, sinful human. A parent, a teacher, a friend, or someone who looks dependable but proves otherwise.

When I realized that I had exhausted all my hope on my father, I cried to God, asking, “What do I do now? How do I ever get any hope back?”

The above scripture tells us that God is a REWARDER of those who diligently seek him. His character is flawless. Slowly, day by day, I took my brokenness to God. Some days I felt absolutely nothing. And then one day I began to feel a small sense of hope quicken about something I had gone to God about. But the underlying fact that I learned about hope wasn’t just being hopeful, but Who I was placing my hope in.

This time it was God. The God of the Word. The God who can not lie. Is the same yesterday, today, and forever. The God who doesn’t change how He feels about me. The God who never stops loving me.

For years, I blamed myself for my father’s flawed behavior. I thought it was me. That I was wrong. That it was because of something I did or didn’t do. Coming to finally see that it wasn’t me, it was my father who was broken. He didn’t know how to love or keep his promises. The day I realized that he never once meant to ever keep any promise he made, it was enlightening! When that fact dawned on me, I saw the total waste of all those years. I had placed my hope in someone who had never had any intentions of keeping a single promise he made. That was an eye-opening moment. Devastating but freeing. At last, I was finally able to face the truth.

The word says, in John 8:31, Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; 32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

Although facing the truth about my relationship with my father was hard, it released me to begin to hope again. At that time, no one could even mention my father or speak to me about it without it devastating me. Today, I am so very grateful to say that all that is gone. God healed that childlike part of me. He replaced all my ability to hope again.

I always pray that anyone who takes the time to read what I post here will go away changed. This blog is written by someone who has had to walk out what she shares. It’s God in me reaching out through this page with an invitation to come to Him for everything you need.

I pray that you will take time now to go to God yourself. 

I bless you.

 

 

 

 

What impossible situation are you facing today?

 It's not over until God says it's over.

 

There’s only one person in my life that I believe everything that He tells me. And that is God. Believe me, I have a lot of people lately saying something about my life that isn’t true. I share the Word of God here because it’s the only thing to live by. If you are listening to any other source, you will suffer discouragement, dismay, and disappointment. Only God can make promises that are 100% trustworthy. But don’t take my word for it.

Titus 1 KJV

Paul, a servant of God, and an apostle of Jesus Christ, according to the faith of God's elect, and the acknowledging of the truth which is after godliness; In hope of eternal life, which God, that cannot lie, promised before the world began;

 We are living in a world right now where we are being lied to every day about something. False promises about products, fake news, and people who are not real people but photoshopped pictures. What do you need right now in your life? God’s got a Word for it. No matter what you have been told about God by religion that has caused you to doubt Him, I’d ask you to do one thing today.

I can guarantee this will work. Go to God yourself. If you have a Bible, get it out. If you don’t own one, go on the internet or go buy your own. Sit down, put God to the test, and see if He will not reveal Himself to you. If you think it won’t work, you are missing out on not only real Life here, but you are jeopardizing your future life. Why would you risk salvation when it is being freely offered to you today?

One other point I want to make perfectly clear. If Church or someone in it has disappointed you so much that you are holding it against God and blaming Him, please, I’m prayerfully asking you to go to God.

He has large shoulders. He can listen to ANY complaint or any angry belief that you have. Trust me, I have taken so many moods to God and poured out my heart to Him. Never once did He turn me away or fail to bring me back into a calm, trusting sense of His love for me.

It truly breaks my heart when a person tells me they refuse to believe in God because of another human being’s opinion.

I’m sure you have heard of this scripture at least once in your life. Are you a whosoever? Then this will be the very first promise God will make to you. Open your heart today by acknowledging that Jesus died for your sins, ask the Holy Spirit to come into you, and watch what happens. This is a personal step you have to take; no one can take it for you.

John 3:16 KJV

16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Or you can read this and walk away thinking this is just another person trying to sell me on religion. I’d have to agree with you about religion. It’s not religion, it’s a relationship being offered to you today.

I pray over this blog that anyone who takes the time to read it will be blessed. So you have been prayed for today.

As a child, were you taught to believe in yourself and that you could succeed?

I’ve been quiet here for a while. It’s crossed my mind several times to write a new post. By the Grace of God, when I come and look at the number of views on my blog… I have some! So someone is reading what I write here. I wish I could find the words to truly express what that means to me. Writing has been my main passion since I was a child. Sadly, as a child, I was never taught to believe in myself or set up for success in my life. In fact, the opposite was true. I don’t want to use your time here reading about another victim of their childhood, but I had a father who never once praised his child for anything she did. It was always the opposite. I learned at an early age that nothing I did was ever going to be enough. Yet my young heart, still tender with childlike hope, brought the things I did for him, believing that one day I would hear, “Well done! You did a good job.”

Instead, as the years passed and my hope of ever doing anything right were stripped away I tagged my father with this phrase, Not enough nuts and raisins. It came from cooking desserts for him. They either had too many nuts or raisins or not enough nuts and raisins. We never got it right.

Incredible as it seems, even to me, I have written several books which I sent out into the world each one a precious child, hoping that they would find acceptance, and each one read with the anticipation of more.

But after over twenty years of creating my books from start to finish, regretfully, I’m not a blip on the world’s literary screen. This has sent me in so many directions. From wanting to delete everything I've ever written and walk away, never to write another word, to what I've just done recently.

I’ve pulled all my self-published files up and re-edited them for one last time. When you write, you can often miss simple mistakes. A coma here, using there for their or you when you meant you’re. It happens.

But the thing that always brings tears to my eyes is the feeling like I’m reading a book for the first time that someone else wrote. I often have to pause and cry for a minute, asking the Lord why the work of my hands has gone unblessed. These are good stories. Positive stories. Relatable stories. And might I even add—page-turning stories.

So for the past several weeks, once again, I’ve sat in my world with my heart breaking over what my hands have created. As I confess here on this page, what God already knows,  they are not my books. I know this. Sometimes I can’t even remember writing them. It’s always been that way. An idea comes to me from some outside source or life experience, and when I sit down and start writing, as silly as it might sound, the story just seems to write itself. Characters’ experiences, places, love, loss, and even a mystery or two begin to become real.

January Sky was the very first book I wrote. It came to me from a picture of polar bears on the January page of a calendar. A young girl whom I worked with in my office was named January Sky, and I asked if I could use her name for the title of my book. She was thrilled, and I was certain that it was God’s leading to write the book.

Somewhere along the way, my expectations got all mixed up with my Faith. God says that he blesses the work of our hands. But please don’t get me wrong. God has blessed my life in so many ways over these seventy-six years through this scripture. I don’t know what I’d ever have done without Him. It’s just in this one part of my life that all the seeds of my efforts have lain dormant, fruitless.

Deuteronomy 28: 1And it shall come to pass, if thou shalt hearken diligently unto the voice of the Lord thy God, to observe and to do all his commandments which I command thee this day, that the Lord thy God will set thee on high above all nations of the earth: 2 And all these blessings shall come on thee, and overtake thee if thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the Lord thy God. 3 Blessed shalt thou be in the city, and blessed shalt thou be in the field. 4 Blessed shall be the fruit of thy body, and the fruit of thy ground, and the fruit of thy cattle, the increase of thy kine, and the flocks of thy sheep. 5 Blessed shall be thy basket and thy store. 6 Blessed shalt thou be when thou comest in, and blessed shalt thou be when thou goest out. 7 The Lord shall cause thine enemies that rise against thee to be smitten before thy face: they shall come out against thee one way, and flee before thee seven ways. 8 The Lord shall command the blessing upon thee in thy storehouses, and in all that thou settest thine hand unto, and he shall bless thee in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.

As in each of the lines of this scripture my life has been carried through many flood waters and I found myself still standing. God has provided for me over the years, and even now, into my “silver-haired” years, He has never forsaken me. But in this one area of my life—the work of my hands—it still remains unfulfilled.

Yet, I still go to my author page where sales and pages read are posted every month—hoping that the screen will open and there will be sales! Sometimes, if I’m being honest, I ask myself why I do this. Something in me just can’t stop hoping. God restored my hope years ago, and I guess it’s going to take actually seeing success come from all my efforts with my books becoming fruitful to meet this deep need in my heart.

I pray for anyone reading my post today that you know success. Success in whatever you give yourself to in any creative way. I pray that all our lives will one day have—Enough nuts and raisins.

I bless you.

https://susantoddstoryweaver.com/books